Values

Values: Where to Start?

Part of therapy includes reflection about how you define living a meaningful life, what is important to you, and what kind of person you strive to be.  Here, you will find some tools to help you identify your values, and prompts to help you through the process. 

Definition of values from the Cambridge Dictionary: The beliefs people have, especially about what is right and wrong and what is most important in life, that control their behaviour. Examples: family/moral/traditional values

Here is a list of values to get you started on this journey. This list is not exhaustive and you are invited to add your own or find words that are authentic to you.

You can download this list by clicking on the image below.

list of values one can have in their life

Option A

Use paper or a notebook.

Option B

Use index cards and as you move through the prompts, create “keep” and “discard” piles.

Option C

Use Post-It notes and find a large surface area or wall to display them all while you move through the prompts.

Option D

Use a chalkboard or whiteboard. 

Next Steps

Questions to consider

  • Why is this value important to me?
  • What does this value mean to me? What does it represent?
  • Look up the definition of a word if needed to consider it carefully
  • Think about people you admire or consider role models. What values do they embody?
  • Think about your goals and dreams, what values are represented?
  • Think about times in your life when you were happy, fulfilled, proud. What values are highlighted in these moments?
  • What are important events or stories in your life, and are they represented in your li

Narrowing it down

It can be easy to have a very long list of meaningful values, but it can quickly get overwhelming. Let’s narrow it down and make it more concise. 

  • Do you notice multiple values with similar meaning or themes? Can they be consolidated?
  • Look up definitions & synonyms. Is that the most accurate and inclusive word?
  • Are these preferable or crucial? What can you not imagine your life without?
  • Assign each value a number from 1-5  (1=most important and 5=least important). Can the values with 4s and 5s be combined with others or discarded?

The Big Questions

  • Are you living life true to your values? Why or why not?
  • Think about your daily activities, work, friendships/relationships, free time, or other commitments that you have.  Which values are well represented in your life? What is working well?
  • Which values are not well represented and why? What are you missing?
  • What might be getting in the way of honoring certain values in your life?
  • Can you identify moments in life when you were fully living your values? What made this possible?
  • How do values show up in relationships with family, friends, partners, and other individuals or groups? 
  • Which of your values align with societal values, and which are contradictory to societal values? Does this create challenges in your life?
  • Do you engage in behaviors that are contradictory to your values? How come?
  • What are some small steps or commitments you might take right now to be more aligned with your values?

Final Thoughts

Start a conversation with people in your life about values. Get curious about what people around you value and prioritize in life, how they interpret certain values, and how they are staying connected to their values. It can be helpful to have new ideas as you go through this process, but can also start interesting conversations about commonalities and differences with people around you. 

You can create multiples lists. For example, you can create a specific list for your professional values or relationship values. You and your partner(s) can also work on a list of your relationship values. Think about the areas of your life where you may need clarity. 

Bring it up in therapy. You and your therapist can discuss these further, explore questions and reflections you may have, and consider next steps.

Values can be helpful during difficult moments when you feel down, uncertain, or overwhelmed. It can provide you guidance when you feel lost. Come back to this list to ground yourself and reconnect with what is most important to you. 

Most importantly, identifying your values for a meaningful life isn’t something that happens in one sitting. Think of it as a work in progress. Values can change throughout our life, just like we do, and they should reflect your growth. Make time to revisit your values occasionally, journal about it, meditate on it, discuss it with others in your life.